I'm going to start a club. We'll all wear hats
shaped like cacti, with piping down the side
and golden thorns. Boots: leather, platform flats,
and pants of finely polished naugahyde.
Our secret handshake, forty phases long,
includes the Forearm Smash and Backhand Slap.
It starts with Trade-Me-Eyepokes, then a song,
and ends with one guy on the other's lap.
We'll meet in secret, write our laws in code,
and hatch our plots in darkened, smoky rooms.
Then at the end, dessert: pie a la mode,
as we confer on schemes and mete out dooms.
We'll raise our fists and revel in our power!
Then have a slide-show, to fill out the hour.
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