It's chaos 'round the Christmas tree tonight!
The little imps run roughshod round the room;
they shake the tree and dim the blinking lights
as parents pray St. Nick will visit soon.
They're fueled by sugar, sleeplessness and greed,
won't suffer the idea of going to sleep.
Mirth is confused with madness, want with need,
while parents are left flustered in a heap.
It's hard to think this is meant to be pleasant--
to muster any cogent thoughts, indeed,
with past and future condensed to the Present
that's shimmering in ribbons 'neath the tree.
We hope that Santa Claus and all his elves
will grant some quiet hours to ourselves.
6 comments:
amen, brother.
Sweet sonnet- for the most part. I loved the impression of worked up parents and present-focused children- so truthful yet humorous it is.
But I have to warn you, here's my arrogance again... that lines 3, 6, 9, and 11 are a little shaky with the rhythm. Undoubtedly, however, you're working on it, and are getting better with each sonnet (as I always am). Good work with the ideas and most of the lines- the rhymes work well too! Just get the rhythm down and they'll be calling you William Shakespeare!
well, william, i think your sonnets fine things, yes, musical yet true. keepeth up the good work.
JR: Thanks for reading! I'll take your careful criticisms into account. However, I think you'll find even Willy Shakes occasionally used an anapest, trochee, or dactyll in the place of an iamb. ;)
Did a little editing to improve the rhythm. Be aware on all posts, dear readers, that sonnets are subject to revision without notice. :)
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