of fish. My uncles pulling up the drive
with river water pouring out the back
of that flat, dented boat they always took
to check their trot lines; then they'd lug the chest
of bluegill bream and channel cat on ice
into the dingy, cinder-block garage
Where old petroleum mixed with the stink
of doomed aquatic creatures, still alive,
mouths gaping as in shock. The men would smack
the catfish with a mallet. Wrenches shook
on pegboard, vicious pliers bit down to wrest
the skin from flesh. The bream they'd scale and slice,
while I crouched down beside the bench to watch.
2 comments:
This one's in the sonnet form that (as far as I know) I invented: two septets, rhyme scheme ABCDEFG ABCDEFG. (First example here.) I like the blank verse-style openness of the septets, and also the challenge of fitting the second with the first. In this case, it made me reconsider a few word choices and phrase things a bit more creatively (elegantly?) here and there. Which is one of the things I like about form generally--how the restrictions require creativity, and invention.
Anyway, I kind of like this one.
(Even though I admit I cheated a little with the near or not-so-near rhyme on the last line. But *you* try fitting "massage" or "mirage" in there and having it make sense! :P )
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