The Devil isn't hiding in my bed--
I've turned the mattress and torn up the sheets,
made sure it's solid at both foot and head,
and checked it all again, in case he cheats;
Neither is Old Scratch lurking in my books--
I've emptied shelves, ruffled the pages too,
pulled cases down to check for secret nooks,
even interrogated binding glue;
He's not in my TV--I checked the tube--
Nor magazines depicting today's style;
nor on the Internet (I'm not a noob)--
Satan.com's got no info worthwhile;
Whenever I go where they said he'd be,
There's never any Devil--only me.
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