Across the frozen tundra like a king;
Set antelope and bison on the run,
who never saw nor smelt of such a thing.
To harness Nessie like a motor boat
And waterski behind her on the Loch
Would be a hoot--I'd try hard not to gloat,
With Scotsmen gaping from the shore, in shock.
I'd have a Bigfoot be my bodyguard,
And Yeti for the bouncer at my door.
He'd keep the fans away who crowd the yard
to glimpse these things that no one's seen before.
At night I'd lay my weary head to sleep,
And count my Chupacabras, just like sheep.