Oh, spare me! Don't you think we've heard enough
of all this bitchy whining you emit?
You'd like us to believe your life's so rough,
but face it, baby girl: you're full of shit.
Your shoe habit is driving you to debt;
your car smells worse than when it was brand new;
Your TV's on the fritz; your Internet
just keeps on getting slower? Whoop-de-doo!
You sit in air-conditioned rooms all day
and answer phones when there's no other choice.
A billion folks would trade with you and say
they'd never seen such comfort. So rejoice!
You've got a house; a car; a place to work.
So don't complain. You come off like a jerk.
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