The wooden door flew open suddenly,
and in the blast of cold and diamond flakes,
the stranger stood there, most majestically,
until the draft gave everyone the shakes.
"My name," he bellowed through his beard, "Is Ted!
The Terror of the Tundra! I've come back
to rain my vengeance down upon the head
of that pot-bellied pig they call Big Jack!"
"Well, stranger," said the barkeep, "you should know
that Big Jack's haunt's a hundred miles form here.
You musta got turned round out in the snow.
It happens. Let me stand you for a beer."
Then Ted the Terror hung his head in shame.
He drank the gratis beer though, all the same.